God's Plan is Messy!

Me: Ugh!!! I was so dumb. I just said that, and it was so stupid, and it was probably hurtful! What if I destroyed their confidence?! That was the opposite of what I was trying to do! And it just slipped out! What's wrong with me? What if I do it again?!!

Mom: Welcome to being human. We accidentally hurt the people we love most in the world, don't think things through, and spend a lot of time trying to work it out, apologize and do better.

Me: I hate it! Why do I have to do stuff like this? I wish I could just live in an isolated bubble where what I do never hurt anyone or made of mess of things. I'm so sick of making messes."

Mom: Esther, welcome to life! We all do this to each other. We're all trying to figure it out, doing the best we can and messing up so we can learn. We're all just each others' laboratory experiments.

Sister: Yep! And sometimes we blow up!

. . . That brought the conversation to an explosive halt and as I laughed uncontrollably and felt the laughter diffuse the stress and frustration I'd been feeling, my sister's words lit a fuse in my mind. Like a chain reaction, a series of images and words burst through my mind. 

I saw a scientific laboratory with expensive glass instruments, copper coils, and complicated chemicals all piled haphazardly, but intentionally on a pristine white table. I saw a laboratory student in a white coat and thick glasses looking with deep concentration at the vials and liquids and glass instruments in front of them. I saw the debate taking place in the student's mind as they tried to decide which vial to use to create the reaction they were hoping for. I saw them pick one up, open the lid, carefully measure a minute amount into a beaker, and gently, ever so slowly, pour that liquid into a glass container on the burner in front of them. And I saw them take a breath of relief when the solution changed color and bubbled like a mild, safe, non-explosive soda. And then they ducked for cover and screamed as, without warning, the whole thing blew up.

Glass shards flew everywhere. The force of the explosion blasted through the other vials, shattering them and mixing things that should never be mixed. A sudden, hot, chemical fire was now burning merrily through the table as the lab student ducked and panicked and froze. Before long the ceiling in the lab was scorched and a sickening number of expensive tools and solutions were burned, broken, or melted beyond recognition. 

Now I realize that this is an overly dramatized and probably unrealistic image of what actually happens in a chemical laboratory. I was tempted to remove the last two paragraphs from this post just because of how dumb they make my imagination sound, but thanks to my sister, I now know that things like this actually do happen in school classrooms and laboratories and funds are allocated every year to replace the ceiling if necessary. It's just a normal part of laboratory life. 

Somehow, my little mental movie and my sister's outrageous comment had the power to lift a tremendous weight off my mind. It's not the first time my mom has used the "we're each other's laboratory experiments" line. It's been one of her top analogies for the last couple of years. And I think it's supposed to take the stress of messing up off because accidentally hurting each other and mis-communicating and doing dumb things is just "laboratory life." The problem is that I've never felt like messing up a laboratory experiment or being a laboratory experiment was a good thing. Think of all the priceless instruments destroyed! The materials wasted! The money lost! The hassle and stress and cleanup costs! Whose going to cover that cost? There's no way the teacher, principal, or director are going to be okay with the disaster! 

For some unexplainable reason I had never considered that any good science classroom or laboratory would most likely have a portion of the budget already set aside to cover costs for replacement tools and even ceilings! And yes, while it's likely frustrating to have to call the repairman yet again, it is just a part of the job--something that's going to happen and, other than being a little irritating, really isn't a problem. 

My mom once told me, "God's plan is messy!"

She then went on to make the following two comparisons. 

God makes herbs that grow wildly, flower abundantly, and spread voraciously. He created plants that make messes. 

God made a plan revolving around people making their own choices and allowing those choices now matter how messy the consequence. He made a plan that is messy. 

I would add her third comparison about how God made animals that poop...but some people get weird talking about decomposition and mulch, so I'll let you complete that thought. 

She finished with, "I take that to mean that God likes messes." 

I apologize to whoever first said that "cleanliness is next to Godliness." According to my mom, you were wrong. The news just in is that the messy way is God's way. 

Of course I'm not saying to live a slovenly life or intentionally hurt people and make a mess of relationships! But you have to admit that you can learn a lot from making an unintentional mess! 

You learn, one, that making messes can be fun! It can't just be me that enjoys mud in-between my toes, paint on my fingers, and leaves in my hair! 

And, two, that every mess can be cleaned. 

It is through the making and the cleaning of messes that strong relationships and genuine character are formed. It's when we are hurt but learn to apologize and forgive that we develop trust and both the determination and ability to do better in the future. Messes teach us new skills. They teach us to talk, to be vulnerable, to take responsibility, to see things from someone else's perspective, to try new things. Those are things we would never learn if messes were never made. No wonder God's plan is messy!

So it's fine, friends! It's fine if you make a mess. It's okay if you blow up sometimes! It's the laboratory life! And it's okay. 

And lest you fear the director is going to cast you out of the program and take away your opportunities, just remember, He's already put redemption in the budget.